Beyond the Surface

I came to a point in my life, not too long ago, when I gave up panic, in the moment. There is no reason for overwhelming emotion in that moment, there is no reason to push up against something I don’t know how to handle, in that moment. There is no reason for instant reactions. It simply does no good. It’s not productive.

I admit, that I reached that conclusion only after having been pushed into the panic corner so much that I finally gave up. And low and behold, the sky didn’t fall if I didn’t hold it up with my panic! I learned that if there is nothing that can be done right then, in that moment, there is simply nothing that can be done. It’s like living moment to moment, I suppose.

I might panic, in general when too much is laying on me and I certainly do…

Last year, one of my students who’d been with me for a couple of years gave me a plant as a gift. It started to die eventually and I dejectedly told her that I couldn’t make anything stay alive. She assured me I could. We figured out that the pot didn’t have any drainage so the water was never being used and the plant was getting over watered. We put it in new soil and a new pot and within a week, it had new buds and was coming back to life.

I asked her to show me her plant magick. “How do you keep something alive?!” She told me it was easy and there really is no magick to it. “It’s just about listening to the plants.” “Great”, I though. “I have to be a Plant Lady who can talk to my plants to get it.”

So she brought…

If you don’t take care of yourself, no one else will.
If you don’t love yourself, no one else will.
If you don’t put yourself first, no one else will.
If you don’t respect your boundaries, no one else will.

If you don’t, why should they? It obviously isn’t important to you.

A lot of what I do for people is show them patterns in their life. It really is amazing how much of our lives are simply learned and repeated patterns. It’s usually most obvious in relationships but it can run the gamut from mental ‘disorders’ to how we keep our home. Sometimes just by SEEING the patterns, there is automatic change. Sometimes it takes a little more effort.

I found the abandonment complex… and then I found some patterns stemming from that. Some of those patterns reversed automatically the moment I found the issue. Sex got better, self expression got better, moods evened out (as much as possible, given my current circumstances) and emotional eating all but stopped. There are other associated patterns that have been more difficult to break - like holding the illusion that everything means abandonment. It’s a pattern of finding abandonment in everything. Once I identify…

Ethan and his friend played happily all day after not seeing each other all summer.
Emma leaves in a few days and I feel secure knowing I can do this little bit to help take care of her once she’s gone.

One of my close long time friends and his wife had their baby today.
My great uncle died today.

Life is funny the way it plays out… coming in, going out… inhaling, exhaling.

Just breathe.

I am teaching my advanced students about baneful magick today. We will cover cursing, hexing or crossing, binding or confining, reversal or reflecting, and banishing. Not only will we discuss what they are but I will give them examples of how to do each as well as teach them how to protect themselves from it. They will stretch their wings and learn more on their own.

I taught my son about sex already. We talked about why people do it, what it’s like and what the dangers are as well as how he can protect himself when the time comes. He will never think it’s shameful or dirty.

Too often, people disbelieve and avoid because that’s the seemingly best course of action against something that you cannot or dont want to see and that scares the bejesus out of you. Like a child scrunching their eyes closed and plugging their ears…

It occurred to me today that my life has changed such that I give a lot to other people now without feeling drained by it. It used to be that I was really stingy with my time and energy because I always felt ‘put upon’. I loved to give and I loved to take care of others - but I just didnt have enough to go around so I would moan and groan about it. But with a few years of resetting boundaries and with some energetic maintenance, energy is is ready supply these days. Now, being tired is not so much about being drained as it is just about resting my mind and body and sleep.

Being Reiki or being Kala is about being open and unbound and allowing the universe, or blue fire, or life energy to just flow through. Where it flows, everything thrives. It is the…

Sometimes the only way to Truth is over other people’s toes. People should learn to keep their toes out of potential walkways.

We worked on the ‘down’ command last night. He got lots of love and praise. I groomed him a little and played with his feet and his tail. He hates having them touched. And really, who can blame him? His toenails are cracked and probably have some sort of fungus and last time somebody touched his butt, they stuck a thermometer up it - which he was none too pleased with. But he’s getting better about it, which is good because they both need to be groomed something fierce.

Today, I took him to the pet store and we worked on not marking indoors just because it smells like other dogs. It’s hard to put 6 years of un-neutered past to rest in a couple of months. He doesn’t really play with toys so it’s hard to spoil him… but he sure does sleep a lot.. so I bought him…

When you have to explain to other people that you are ’stepping into your power on this one’, you probably have not succeeded in doing so.

If you ’speak your Truth’ and it grates on the ears around you, sometimes that means that your Truth needs to carry you elsewhere. That isn’t always a bad thing.