Beyond the Surface

It was the end of the night and it was time for me to go home. That was when Brian called. Panicked. “Something or someone is tossing me around the apartment and I can’t make it stop. I need you. ” I got quick directions, gave a rushed goodbye to my friend who was checking out at the counter and drove over.

I was nervous on my way there. It had been a long time since I’d done an exorcism. I called Ryan on the way and gave him the address where I was going… just in case. It was just that odd of a call.

When I got there, he walked out to the wet street to usher me back to his apartment - in his socks. His breath smelled of wine. I hugged him and tried to make eye contact but his eyes were wild and frenzied. I followed him, carefully watching him walk and move. He’d been touched. He wasn’t himself.

His apartment was comfortably cluttered. There was the remains of a destroyed framed photo on the floor. The glass littered an armchair. “I had to break it.” he explained. “It’s her parents. They were kicking me and kicking my ass. I had to break it to make them leave.” I pushed my senses out further. It was chaotic but there was nothing there.

We sat for a few minutes. He told me that his time here is up and that he’s leaving here soon. Going home. I asked him what he meant. “You know.. my time here.. on earth is done. As in… dying.” I heard warning bells and wondered if I would find that this is all a delusional state brought on by a depression or substances. I tried to direct his mind backward… to tell me what led up to this but he was too frenzied. He bade me follow him back to his temple. The back bedroom. Krishna, mandalas, paintings of Anandamayi Ma and Mahalakshmi lined a small clearing on the floor. Two singing bowls, incense, 3 dimensional shapes and candles filled the space. He crouched here on his knees and lit the candles with a shaky hand. He did a small lighting ceremony, greeting each deity. I knelt behind him to watch. His frenzy began to die down. He felt safe here. I felt peace here.

He talked and I just sat and watched and listened. He got lost in his devotion and I guarded him and the space, still feeling around me for whatever had been there before. It was gone. “It will come back.” he insisted. I asked him if he wanted me to stop it from coming back. He said he did. I began to smudge and set my boundary. Around the bedroom and the bathroom and the hallway and the living room. He couldn’t find his glasses - would I help him? I looked while I smudged.

I found his glasses on the living room floor near the shattered frame. Something was coming. I made it to the kitchen before he shrieked “It’s back!” and I heard a sickening thud. I muttered “I know” and engaged it. It came in though him. It hadn’t ’seen’ me there. I turned the corner in time to see Brian lift completely off of the floor and be flung against the paints in the corner. I yanked at the thing and forced it to round on me. All nervousness was gone. It was clear that this was nothing I couldn’t handle. It was the same exercise I’d faced a million times before.

“Get back to your temple.”, I told Brian. “Leave now.” I told the thing without words. I grabbed at it and pulled it out of Brian. It swung out at me, testing, testing, testing. I kept my balance and steadily pushed. “It’s back!” Brian wailed from the floor. “Get back to your temple, NOW.” I commanded him without losing focus. His frenzy wasn’t helping and to lose focus would be to be flung across the room with him. I backed myself between Brian and the thing and shoved it away while I pushed Brian down the hallway while still facing the living room.

I locked Wills with it, feeling, testing and walked steadily forward, pushing. My mind swam. My eyes lost focus. The room spun. Reality shifted. We danced with each other, my mind and it, around and back and forth. Testing, inquiring, wanting, sizing, pushing. Finally, it shifted too much but I maintained, earning the vital foothold I needed. I’d won. Energetic check mate. “Leave now.” I told it. “I will make you, if you are not willing.” I told it. And with a tip of it’s hat, it was gone.

Brian wasn’t so sure and he wailed some more. “It’s coming back! He aint done with me.” he told me. He went to the door and screamed after it to go to hell. I watched quietly. He was so angry and so afraid. The neighbors asked what the hell was going on. I ushered him back into the living room. I told him to stop inviting it back by knowing it would come back. He didn’t believe me. He said it was bigger than I ever could imagine. I only nodded and directed him to the couch. I changed the subject suddenly three times in a row and the magic was done. He stopped thinking about the thing and settled in to tell me about Vedic myth.

It didn’t come back and it won’t. I reached out to it today and it knew me and respected me and was only goofing off with him. Goofing off = tossing him like a ragdoll. Respect is good.