Beyond the Surface

Late last night, Ryan and I went to the mall. We were going to go see a late movie and we were wasting time before it started. He went in to a store to pee and I sat outside on the bench to wait for him. I looked down and there was a stem of small purple flowers laying on the ground next to me. Just as perfect as could be.

And I wanted to pick it up but I couldnt make myself. For some reason I felt this overwhelming sense of mortality for the flower. It was essentially dead. Even if I picked it up, it would still die. I specifically thought 'Alone on the pavement of a darkened mall, it would die. What a waste! Someone picked this flower and then left it to die. What a horrible tradgedy to die that way.' And I wanted to pick it up… but I.. couldnt.. I zoomed my thoughts out to flowers in general.. no. It was just this one dying a hopeless death on the pavement of this mall that I felt such pain for.

Then Ryan walked out and I woke up from my 'trance'.. lol.. I told myself something along the lines of.. 'god youre a freak. why in the hell does that one flower bother you like that? youve never freaked out about a flower before… whats up with that?'

I didnt think about it again. We went home and cuddled instead of watching the movie cuz I felt mopey and needed some cuddle time :) We watched Jaimie Kylenedy.. who is fucking funny.. and then some news. The last story we saw was about a man being shot in a mall parking lot earlier that evening. I normal guy with his girlfriend .. just shot and killed with his purchases in his hands. His whole life is just.. over.. like that.. at the hands of someone else.. in a mall parking lot on an otherwise ordinary day.