Beyond the Surface

When I started learning from Storm, I started back at the very basics. The Three Selves alignment is one of the very basics. But of course, hearing it from another teacher in a different way puts it puts another spin on it. So I’ve been doing the exercises BECAUSE THATS WHAT A STAR STUDENT DOES (grin) and I’ve really been trying to immerse myself in fetch enough to hear her in the moment and really relate to her.

What I found was that although I knew (with talker) that my talker self dominates that relationship, when I felt that with fetch, it wasn’t a knowing at all… it was a place of being and there is emotion tied to that. Fetch doesnt like it at all. And yes, talker self needs to make the logical reasonable decisions but my talker stifles my fetch far too much. My talker is a bully and needs his ass kicked. Any takers?

What I requested of fetch was to help me with what I eat - to speak up about the things that are good for me and not so good for me. And fetch did! I havent wanted much of anything but fucking fruit, juice, raw meat and cheese for three days. And chocolate covered cherries, of course. When I asked fetch why it’s so different from how I eat, I discovered that a lot of my eating habits are from talker. I eat to sedate fetch in warm fuzzies sometimes. I eat to force fetch to come along for the ride sometimes. And really, talker hasn’t got much of a place deciding what I eat, IMO. That would be fetch’s territory.

Further, fetch showed me a pattern of my body not being able to cleanse it’s self very well. Chemicals and minerals and junk get backed up in my system and cause my immune system and my mental well being to suffer. Almost every system in my body is that way and always has been. It comes from not enough water (I despise drinking water, for some reason) which creates a pattern of clinging to everything.

WHICH?! Creates an as below so above effect. And sometimes when I look around the house and little things creep me out? It’s not because the house is suddenly too messy. It’s because fetch is screaming ‘I’m too messy and cluttered and I need water’ and I’m imposing that on my environment because talker doesn’t (care to) understand or relate to what fetch is saying.

AND?! Low and behold, I cling to fucking everything in my life. I’ve always been insanely loyal. I NEED structure like a fish needs water. And I KNOW, I hold pain way too long. I could go on and on. It’s like a chicken and egg thing. Does fetch create that physiologically or does talker create that mentally and which passes it on to the other? Investigation continues. In the mean time, I’m all thrilled like a little kid that it worked! I’m getting somewhere with this!