PonderEthereal

I went to my first T’ai Chi class this morning. A couple of weeks ago, I found great, cheap classes at the community center and thought ‘There is no time like the present’ and so… today was the present. I’m learning T’ai Chi Ch’uan and we are learning a form with a really long name and 60 some odd movements.

My class mates are all older than me. At first I felt a little out of place floating (read: clomping) around the dance floor with women old enough to be my grandmother. But then I realized they were all more coordinated with me and I can only imagine how much more out of place I would feel with people my age. It’s like I have a handicap in this class. A handicap over the handicapped. Sorta. I digress.

I wore a pair of yoga pants… you know, the flair leg, knit pants that look great on a size 2? (I am NOT a size 2, in case you wondered) I topped it with a t-shirt and went bare footed. Everyone else was wearing whatever they would wear ordinarily. Even my Shabby Workout Look was entirely overdressed. They all wore shoes. Thin soled workout shoes which they each, one by one, changed in to as they arrived. How do old people learn about such things? Shouldn’t they all be wearing saddle oxfords?

As we mutilated the graceful moves as a group, one by one, I learned why they wore shoes. I was the one in the back who’s toes squeaked against the hard wood floor every time there was a pivot. And there were pivots. Pivots on which you inhale and pivots on which you exhale and pivots on which you do things with your weight and your arms… and hands. And my feet squeaked against the wooden floor with every one.

So after class, I went to Capezio. Capezio, for those not in the know, is THE place to get dance shoes. I figured since I’m going to be doing this Tai Chi thing for a couple months and since once that’s over, I hope to have the balls to take a ballet class with kids who are probably easily half my age at the oldest, I might as well take the plunge and get some ballet shoes that won’t stick to the floor.

I haven’t been to a Capezio store since I was a kid. I know it’s hard to believe but I used to take tap, jazz and ballet and I loved them. I’ve toyed with the idea of going back to dance classes for some time but I’ve never had the nerve. To have a reason to actually buy a pair of ballet slippers again kinda blew my mind.

When I walked into the Capezio store, I felt that old excitement well up. I have to imagine that it’s that way for most girls who buy their first pair of ballet shoes as they envision learning to be just like the ballerinas they see on television with their severe ponytails and graceful arms. Or at least it was for me when I was 10… and again, now. I know they have hundreds of pairs of those tiny delicate slippers in the back room, but to me, it felt like earning a one-of-a-kind badge of some sort as I tried them on.

They slipped right on and I could just feel myself floating across the room in them. Of course, floating is a strong word for the probable reality… BUT… none the less, that’s what a girl sees when she tries on her first pair of ballet slippers in 22 years. I mean.. erm.. 15 years. :) I pointed my toe and flexed and pointed again, turning my ankle out so that I could see. They became a treasured possession before I had even purchased them.

I left the store and headed to work with my ballet shoes on the seat next to me. A silent promise to part of myself, that nodded knowingly in response, that I am finally getting what I’ve wanted in the back of my mind for so many years.