Beyond the Surface

I came to a point in my life, not too long ago, when I gave up panic, in the moment. There is no reason for overwhelming emotion in that moment, there is no reason to push up against something I don’t know how to handle, in that moment. There is no reason for instant reactions. It simply does no good. It’s not productive.

I admit, that I reached that conclusion only after having been pushed into the panic corner so much that I finally gave up. And low and behold, the sky didn’t fall if I didn’t hold it up with my panic! I learned that if there is nothing that can be done right then, in that moment, there is simply nothing that can be done. It’s like living moment to moment, I suppose.

I might panic, in general when too much is laying on me and I certainly do cry and get angry and frustrated - but I don’t have to do it right that moment. In the moment, it’s a time to absorb and listen and comprehend and respond to the best of my ability. There will be plenty of time to sort through the feelings of it and to formulate a better response. So, I answer plainly, honestly and just simply to the point. If I don’t know the answer, I say so. If I am not sure what to think about something, I say so.

What I’ve noticed is that people often don’t like that. When they present someone with a question or statement in a certain way, and they expect a high level of emotion, when it’s not forthcoming, they absolutely cannot stand it. They increase their attempts. Even when the information they asked for is given to them, if the response is not appropriately seeped in intense emotion, they become more demanding, more insistent.

I wonder at how often people simply respond with their emotional selves rather than using logical thought. When we have issues and complexes that cloud our emotional selves, I think sometimes, the emotional self is mistaken in believing it should come to the forefront. That it’s unresolved needs are more pressing than logic and critical thought.

And I wonder at how often people attempt to pull the reactions they intend from others without consciously realizing they do it. Having had unconscious needs of an emotional nature before, I know how truly unconscious the fulfillment of those needs can be. No one ever says “I want everyone around me to be miserable” but the saying “misery loves company” didn’t happen for no reason. People who are miserable seek to illicit similar responses from those around them.

In psychology, it is known that we choose people to interact with who have the interaction patterns that we are comfortable with… like attracts like. In alternative medicine, this interaction is summed up as cords or energy ties. Whatever way you look at it, take some time today to look at your interactions with others - what are your patterns and what reactions are others taking from you without your conscious consent?