PonderEthereal

I picked Ethan up today from school by myself for the first time since last week. My ‘body guards’, as a friend called them, waited anxiously at home for me. I wanted him to feel like today was getting back to normal. No trips to offices of official people who speak legaleze, no paperwork or talk of big things that make no sense. Just me picking him up after school to come home and do homework, eat dinner and laze around for the evening.

I brought him home. And then I cleaned. I scrubbed, I swept, I vacuumed. With one arm. Until I got heart palpitations and had to stop. And remember that I’m still traumatized. And that no matter how hard I scrub, I can’t make it normal again.