PonderEthereal

Ethan comes home tomorrow after being at his dad’s for the summer. With some close examination, it has come to my attention that my emotional state over that is far more negative than positive and for that reason, other than the practical preparation, I haven’t really dwelled on it.

First of all, I’m dreading the discipline issues that are likely to come with him. He’s been at his dad’s where he hasn’t been held to the routine standards he will need to adhere to to successfully make it through a day in school without having an outburst. That means that we will be back at square one and he will have to re-learn how to monitor himself. That means a bumpy road. That’s aside from the obvious issues of readjusting to different rules and means of discipline which will be painful anyways. His dad did a really good job of avoiding phone calls and scheduled visitation for the last month he was there and so there is that reestablishing our roles thing to deal with too.

Second of all, I’m still nervous that until I actually lay eyes on him that he might not actually be on the plane. His dad has been known to be sneaky like that. So, call me burned, but this nervousness is directly proportional to the amount of excitement I should have. Once he gets off the plane and I see him, I will express all of my excitement at once by jumping up and down and giggling and covering him in mommy kisses until he pushes me away self consciously and whispers loudly ‘MOTHER! There are people LOOKING!’.

And finally, there is that preparing for a child thing again. His after school care is set up, his room is ready, my plans to pick him up are solid. I THINK everything is in line… but that perfectionist part of me wants to manage everything to the last minute detail to make everything perfect for my little bundle of trouble joy.

Keep us in your thoughts this weekend. And while you are at it, have a wonderful one.